Kyle's Birth

My oldest, Kyle, was an amazing experience. His birth and our journey together as a family was everything I expected and more. Aside from an extreme case of morning sickness called Hyperemisses Gravidarum, my pregnancy went smoothly and as expected. Sure, I was sick for about four months of the pregnancy before it finally let up and I could actually enjoy food, do light exercises and everyday tasks without the constant need to vomit. But the anticipation was sweet and I looked forward to meeting my little one. I would touch my growing belly and imagine all the wonderful things my son and I would do. All the amazing things he would discover. All the beauty he would be able to witness as he grew. I would have little conversations with him how there was both good and bad in the world and that I hoped he would always pay attention to the good. I would have the occasional moment of panic, asking myself "Am I ready to be a Mom?"

Toward the end of my pregnancy, I remember being very ready for the pregnancy to be over and for him to arrive. I was having conversations with my belly, saying things like "you can come out now, I'm ready." and "Anytime, your Dad and I are ready." to which I would imagine my unborn son replying "I will come out when I'm ready." 

Danny and I took to taking long walks around the neighborhood in the evenings to try to get things going. Finally Kyle's due date came, and nothing happened. I remember being completely impatient at that point and we took longest walk we had ever taking that night. I later went to bed agitated and disappointed but unable to sleep despite the utter exhaustion I felt as a result of the walk (more like a long and awkward waddle). I was restless. I tossed and turned. I was experiencing some braxton-hicks contractions throughout the night. Finally, at 5:00 am, I gave up on sleep entirely and got up to do some laundry. I thought that the change in activity would alleviate the discomfort of the braxton-hicks contractions like it had so many times before. To my surprise, they only got worse. It wasn't until I had been up for a while that it finally dawned on me that I was in labor! Today was it! He was coming! I was so excited and VERY ready. I could hardly contain myself. I found myself grinning like an idiot while timing my contractions. They were still too far apart to worry about going to the hospital. I read all the books. Danny and I also took a birthing class to be better prepared. So I knew that I had some time before I went into active labor. 

I showered and had some breakfast. I had no idea when I would be able to eat next. Probably not until after he's born, whenever that would be. Danny was still asleep, completely oblivious to my activities. Till finally, around 7:30 am, I decided to wake him and tell him that today was the day. I wish I had his reaction on video. It was wonderful. "Danny, today's the day." "Hmmm. What?" "We are going to have our baby today." His eyes popped wide open and he was AWAKE when he asked again, "What?" "Today's the day." I said. "Are you sure?" He asked. "Yes." Danny wore his excitement as I imagined I did. He looked tense and ready for anything. Then we debated whether or not he should go to work while I was in the early stages of labor. Figuring that it could be hours until things really got going we decided he should. 

So he went to his meeting and I was left to pace back and forth, trying to distract myself. Our hospital bag had been packed about a month earlier, so I had nothing to do but hang around and wait. Then, I had a contraction that rocked my world. It knocked the air out of me, surprising me with the strength of it. I had to hang onto something and willed myself to breath. The contractions were closer and I called the nurse at my OB's office just to make sure that it was time to go in. "Yep." she replied after I had told her how far apart my contractions were. "Sounds like your definitely in labor, Congratulations!" 

I called Danny and before I knew it, he was home. He was probably lucky he didn't get pulled over for speeding. We took our time getting to the hospital and waited in triage for a couple hours once we got there. They wanted to make sure I was dilated enough to be admitted. Once we were admitted, things progressed from there. It wasn't long before I had the epidural. The labor was long and intense. Kyle was handling it like a champ and at one point, he got the hiccups. It was very noisy as it was broadcasted along with his heartbeat. 22 hours later it was finally time to push.

It took two hours of pushing. Then I was holding him. He was born at 2:48 am the following day. They handed me this beautiful baby boy and the whole world fell away. The people around me didn't exist. I can't even remember where Danny was standing. There was only me and my baby boy. I felt his small weight in my arms and marveled that only moments ago, this little person was cramped inside me and that he had actually fit! 

Then he opened his eyes. He looked at me and he was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I wish I knew how to convey the profound feelings that arose inside me as I looked into those eyes. It wasn't until that moment that I knew, without a doubt, that each one of us is a miracle. That holding my baby and looking into his eyes was a miracle. It was the most beautiful moment of my life.

Kyle was healthy and strong. Aside from the baby-well check-ups and a bad case of acid-reflux, we didn't see the doctor much. Most questions I had were easy to answer by looking it up in one of our books or pulling it up on the internet. Nothing was complicated. Just very new. Sleep deprivation was the most difficult part of Kyle's young life for me. And because I had waited so long to have children, to have him, I cherished every moment.