Sunday, May 10, 2015

Being the Mom of a Typical Kid and One with Special Needs

Being Kyle's Mom is like day, and being Morgan's Mom is like night. The two are so different and the balance between caring for them both can be a difficult tight-rope to walk. Or so I'm learning. I'm only a year into this, with Morgan turning one, but I can already tell that fulfilling her needs as well as Kyle's is going to be an intense job. Morgan's care is challenging to manage, with the many facets that I have to keep track of. Her doctor's appointments and therapy. Her daily medications and monitoring. Kyle has his needs too. They are more typical and for the most part, not nearly as intense, but he still has needs.
I strive to give them both everything they need. Being able to give everything they both need in a Mom is one of my greatest hopes and challenges. I don't kid myself though, I know all too well that I will mess up. Hopefully I won't mess up very often.
Being a parent is challenging. It tests us like nothing else can. It stretches and pushes us, wearing us out to the point of exhaustion. But it's also the most rewarding experience I've ever had.
Being the parent of a child with special needs is also challenging. The same emotions and experiences are involved, but multiplied. Your heart breaks, soars, and breaks with equal regularity. Tears are always just under the surface, ready to spring up at the slightest provocation. Joy is always there too, just under the surface, coming up any time Morgan does something "typical." Not one thing is taken for granted. The smiles, laughs, sounds, movements, can make the whole world shine.
And feeling discouraged. That is a feeling I have to frequently stomp down. I remind myself that it's a miracle this beautiful girl is here. And I remember to be grateful and to be patient.
My Mom and I attended a Mother's Day Night Event last Friday, hosted by the Utah Parent Center. It was called Unexpected Journey by speaker and performer Michael Ballam. He discussed the ability to rejoice when life takes us to places of challenge and blessings we never dreamed possible. Michael shared his own experiences as a parent of a child with a disability through word and music. 
As we watched the people around us, I commented to my Mom that this was a hard club to belong to. A club where each parent is a member not by choice. By circumstances they cannot control. But as the evening wore on and I was able to hear Michael's son, Ben, perform Some Enchanted Evening, I could see the extraordinary beauty that each human being possesses regardless of medical problems, disability or any other issue they may be struggling with. I was touched.
Being a Mom is tough, whether you have a child with special needs or not. But by having Morgan in my life, I'm simply more aware of the precarious nature of our lives. How incredible and fragile each of us are.


P.S. Mom, thank you for coming with me the other night. I was happy to have you with me. Happy Mother's Day.

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